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The internet thinks a chess grandmaster cheated using anal beads

Norway’s Carlsen announced his withdrawal in a cryptic tweet with a video implying that his opponent had cheated (Picture: Arun Sankar/ AFP)

The world of chess has been rocked by the biggest scandal in years and it involves artificial intelligence and anal beads.

Last week, world chess champion Magnus Carlsen, withdrew from a major tournament with a $350,000 prize money after his unexpected defeat by underdog Hans Niemann.

Norway’s Carlsen announced his withdrawal in a cryptic tweet with a video implying that Niemann had cheated. The tweet was accompanied by a video of Portuguese soccer manager, José Mourinho, saying, ‘I prefer really not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble.’

Other big names in the sport declared Niemann’s play ‘sus’, suspicions were raised further when Niemann admitted to cheating twice previously. Chess.com issued a statement that it had banned Niemann from its site over his alleged cheating.

Chess enthusiasts online have since gone on to speculate that Niemann may have been cheating with computer assistance and anal beads.

‘Currently obsessed with the notion that Hans Niemann has been cheating at the Sinquefield Cup chess tournament using wireless anal beads that vibrate him the correct moves,’ tweeted one user.

As the chess world debated whether it was possible to cheat in chess with vibrating anal beads, Twitter’s favourite troublemaker Elon Musk, joined in on the debate.

The Tesla CEO reacted to a clip shared by another Twitter user, which showed someone discussing the possibility of anal beads being used.

SpaceX founder and Tesla CEO Elon Musk waded into the debate – before deleting his tweet (Credit: Reuters)

‘That’s probably a good one right, an anal bead would probably beat the thing, the engine. I don’t know, I really don’t know,’ said the person in the video.

Musk reacted to the video with an adapted version of a quote from philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer. He tweeted: ‘Talent hits a target no one else can hit, genius hits a target no one can see (cause it’s in ur butt).’

Chess fans speculated that anal beads could transmit messages from an accomplice who was watching the game being broadcast live online and consult an AI to transmit the perfect move.

However, it’s unclear if Niemann could be beating the tournament’s anti-cheating precautions, which include a 15-minute delay in the broadcast of moves and radio-frequency identification checks.

Apart from the ridiculous anal beads theory, people suspect that Niemann got his hands on Carlsen’s game plan ahead of time, thereby anticipating his surprise opening.

The joke ‘anal beads’ theory of chess cheating has been circulating on Reddit (Credit: Reddit)

Niemann has vehemently denied that he cheated against Carlsen and even went so far as to say that he would play fully naked to prove it. Other chess pros have defended Niemann, calling the allegations a ‘witch hunt’.

Among the 10 players participating in the Sinquefield Cup, Niemann was the lowest rated and the least likely to defeat the world champion who was on a two-year unbeaten streak.

~bzzzzz~ checkmate! (Credits: Getty Images)

While we might not know if anal beads are a liability to the integrity of chess, advances in material science and artificial intelligence could mean checking for ingenious inventions like ‘smart clothes’ that transmit messages through the fabric.


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